Desert Biking and Food - Low Carb Style

Single Track mountain biking in southern New Mexico. Here is the trailhead. It got very dicey hereafter. This trail is rated a 3 out of 5 in difficulty, and I probably could have used a 2 or a 1 rated trail. I ended up busting my rear several times. It was 5 miles to the mountain in the distance. I had to walk it a few times. But a year ago, at 360 pounds, it would have been impossible. A year and a half ago, at 405 pounds, it would have been unthinkable. Thanks to low carb foods, which is a fantastic way to eat and live, combined with recovery from food addiction, I can get out and enjoy doing something that I always wanted to do - get sunburned and bust my rump on boulders and cactus.

Here's a recent low carb meal. Doesn't it look like I am suffering? This is Atkins at its finest. Those are stuffed (ground beef, cream cheese, garlic, parmesan cheese) Mexican Jalapenos - delicious. 6 ounces of grilled top sirloin, medium rare with Chicago steak seasoning, a green salad with tomatoes (Ceasar dressing added shortly thereafter). This is really eating and living well, according to my needs!

Too Much

I've been eating too much. For the past several months, weight loss has ebbed and halted, although I am still down a pound or two since last fall. Yet the dieter in me craves more, faster, stunning, amazing, pounds lost every day and preferably overnight while eating desserts and laying around the house.

Uh uh. I hit a spell of traveling and work commitments in February and March that pulled me away from home, routine, and my home groups of recovery. Not good. I think I pushed up in weight during this time because I was eating foods that were "legal," but I was eating way too much of them. I stopped writing down my calories and carbs and used the old "eyeball" method of estimating. My eyeballs are faulty because they always estimate about 30% lower calories and portion size than actually present, and any judgment call goes in my favor. It's called addictive thinking.

After 2 weeks back at home and with my back into my recovery work, I've managed to right the ship and list no more. Weight is back below baseline in January, and calories are at a reasonable 2500-2900 per day, given my activity level. I am back at an induction carb level of 20 grams a day, but will eventually pop back up to the 40-50 mark. I have to make the effort to keep my calories and carbs legit though - no sugar free, sugar alcohol candies and meal replacement bars - these get me in trouble double quick. My body can't tell the difference between a Russel Stover's sugar free coconut chocolate candy and an Almond Joy. I get tricked into acquiring a taste for sweet and more, which always seem to go together for me.

For today, I'm back on track, and that's the best I can do for this 24 hours ahead.

God's Will

Mountain biking on canal roads in the southern New Mexico desert is a solitary affair, even when partnered with friends. The Mesilla Valley yawns wide under a sun sharp as flint, mountains sentineled along the horizon. On this day the westernmost canal was flooded for the first time this year with water diverted from the Rio Grande, and will flow until late Fall with its Rocky Mountain melt. Some will be used by agribusiness and homes, and the rest will end up in the Gulf of Mexico, more than a thousand miles away.

The living metaphor of dryness in the desert, even in the midst of verdant farmland in the valley, occasions bonding with a higher power. As always, when I offer the slightest movement toward God, he comes. I felt his presence during this ride, in the wind as it whistled around pecan, in the small rock that stung my shins, in the soft murmer of the water winding south in the canal.

This kind of talk used to drive me wild. I heard some folk speak about God and His will, and the presence of God in their lives, and something switched off internally. I had no doubt that these deluded people felt as if God were present somehow, maybe like an observer from far off. But the concept of a personal God who transmitted grace and whose will could be known was like the Theory of Relativity - I just couldn't get my head around it. When I would hear these contented people simply mention God casually as a friend, like one mentions an item on a shopping list, I would feel a secret fear, unspoken, unknowable, deep and clenching, that maybe I was wrong. Maybe there was a God with a will for me and a relationship waiting to vector off from my current lonely state, like a parallel existence only better - finally - happier. And maybe I would never figure out how to tap into that power, and build that relationship.

What was the key that finally tumbled the lock into place? Surrender. I won't go into it in this post, but surrender is what opened the door for God's grace and will to pour out into my life, like the current in that flooded canal above. I got to a place of surrender by being absolutely clobbered by life, by my actions and choices, and by trying to go it alone for so long. When I moved towards Him, surrendered to His will, and laid myself bare to His presence, He came. He came and touched me with his love, grace, serenity, and hope. All I had to do was be willing to have Him, and He was there.

So when I think of God's will for me, I can get into all sorts of logic loops and circular thinking that spin me up into anxiety - I am back in MY will at that point. While I certainly don't know His will for me most of the time, what I usually know is what He doesn't want me to do. In other words, when I stay out of my will and wait for His will to happen, it always does. The surest way to get into His will is to get into positive action, which includes some kind of helping others. Not my will, but Thy will be done.

Dinner tonight really rocked. 12 oz NY strip, green salad, grilled yellow squash, calabacitas, and green onions, and mushrooms simmered in garlic and butter. Some no-carb Italian dressing and a few sprinkles of shredded parmesan cheese on the veggies topped it all off. I gotta tell ya, eating low carb is simple and it makes dieting a thing of the past. This meal lacks for nothing...wholly and completely satisfying, with plenty of heart-healthy fat and protein, and micronutrients to spare. No sugar or processed grain products lurking here, ready to make me fatter and wreak havoc on my blood sugar levels. Even my daughter got in on the act. Her meal of grilled chicken, peas, corn and grapes made dada proud. I'm not thrilled about the juice box (no sugar added), but I can't fight every battle. Lots of carbs here to be sure, but no bread or potatoes or sugary desserts - and that is sugar free ketchup as well. Pretty smart choices for Snow White, seen suffering here from red eyes after swimming lessons.

Action vs. Talk

Yesterday I felt like sitting around (or lying around) in the living room and watching pay per view movies all day. But I saw the sun out there, bright as usual, and felt like I should get some motion in my day...take some ACTION. I loaded up the bike and headed downto the Rio Grande. El Paso County and the City, unbelievably, are coughing up $30 million to build the Rio Grande Riverpark Trail System. For once I agree with El Paso's use of tax dollars. This city bleeds its citizens, some of the poorest in the nation, for taxes. You can't find decent roads or clean highways, but you can find free services at local hospitals if you are a non citizen, and the city spends millions fighting off a copper smelter that would bring in millions of tax dollars and hundreds of high pay blue collar jobs to the region. But I digress.


The action of getting up and going on the ride paid off. As usual, when I get off my rear and get going, good things happen. Above is a picture of Geococcyx Californianus. The Roadrunner. He was pretty spry so I feel fortunate to have snapped this quick pic before he scooted across the path and into the river bank. These are fairly common desert birds, but I've only seen a few in the past couple of years.


Here's the river near Anthony, NM. I rode 13 miles north from El Paso on the trail to get to this bend. The river meanders through the Mesilla Valley in southern New Mexico, just before turning east and heading 900 miles to the Gulf of Mexico. During Spring and Summer this river is full and rapid in El Paso, swelled with irrigation water released from Elephant Butte, 150 miles north. The region is in a terrible drought right now, as is much of the West. Some friends of mine who farm are very concerned about the future of food production in this region of the country. For those who don't know, this area is one of the top pecan producing areas in the world. Lots of cotton, onions, lettuce, and, of course, long green chile and jalapenos come from here as well.


I love this sign. Every time I see it I think about the time I saw a rattlesnake in Chaparral, NM 7 years ago. It was late evening and the sun was very low on the horizon. I saw a stick, straight as can be, lying in the road. As I drove past it, I realized it was no stick. A lady in her car next to me leaned out and said Machuca lo! Which I think means "run over it." I declined, because I thought it was dead. When I swung the car door open and my boots hit the road, Mr. Rattler curled up quick as an oil change and started rattling in my direction. Back in the car I went, and the lady vamoosed. When I ride my bike past this sign I know that I am at the 20 mile mark and also that I may end up having to make a quick and wide detour at any point.


So what do you eat after a 26 mile bike ride with half of it against a 10 mile an hour headwind? I had 8 ounces of pork shoulder roast, 3 ounces of pico de gallo, 5 stuffed mushrooms, and a cup and a half of homemade coleslaw. About 8 grams of carbohydrates, total. This was a big meal...I had to eat it in portions because I got full pretty quick. But I had to eat it because I hadn't eaten much all day and I don't want to get into a cycle of not eating. I like the short term results of starvation too much...the weight loss is intoxicating but the end result is more fat, more weight, more misery. No thanks!

The Joy of Eating Well

Eating well means different things to different folks. Eating styles, manners, and fare vary widely within and among cultures, and are largely a personal matter even when regional and religious preferences are taken into consideration. We love to eat, and the eating varies. I am no exception.

For most of my adult life, unfortunately, eating has meant trying to get as much into my mouth and down the hatch as possible before moving on to the next gorge. I don't know why that happened. I've spent a lot of time on this subject as you might imagine, but in the end it boils down to a simple truth, I like to eat, and I eat too much when I do.

For the past year, since beginning a low carb plan of eating combined with seeking help for my food addiction, eating well has come to mean something uniquely affirming for me. I am a simple guy -- I've eaten a lot of fancy meals (or at least I think I have) -- but food that is easy to prepare, fun to eat, and quickly cleaned up and tupperwared are the best kinds of meals for me. And when they include foods that feed my body and spirit, that is the gold standard.

Tonight's meal was simple and tasty. I put a whole chicken in the slow cooker this morning, coated it with Sate seasoning (Penzey's), and let 'er go. Tonight, the wife fried some cabbage with onion and bacon in a cast iron skillet, and I threw in some stuffed mushrooms I made yesterday (cream cheese, onions, garlic, cheese). It was quick, easy, nutritious, and low carb. I count about 9 carbs total in that meal, and that may be a liberal estimate.

Then I had some dessert. Pumpkin cheesecake and some sugar-free whipped cream. Another 5 carbs. Sorry for the crummy picture. But it tasted a lot better than it looks here. Recipe customized from the original good one by Sugar Free Sheila.

Let's contrast with the meal my (non low carb) daughter ate tonight. She is 3, somewhat picky regarding what she eats, and probably represents a typical kid in the U.S. when it comes to preferences at meal time. She mostly eats what we eat, but sometimes life calls for fish sticks and ketchup. We threw in the corn and the peas, so all in all I would call this a successful meal. Standards and ideals automatically adjust for a parent. It's part of the continuum of eating well.

Year One Bloodwork

The final one-year bloodwork results are in. Good news! My numbers are the best they have ever been. Before going over the numbers, let me recap a typical day's nutrition. I used Fitday to calculate these values, which are representative of a typical day in my life food-wise over the past year.

Total calories: 3,242 per day

grams - calories - percentage%

Fat: 251g - 2,263 - 71%
Saturated fat: 105g - 946 - 30%
Carbohydrates: 50g - 141 - 4%
Protein 182g - 730 - 23%
Fiber 16g - 0 - 0%
Alcohol 9g - 64 - 2% (sugar alcohols, my one vice...Atkins Bars)

The careful reader will note that this represents a daily consumption of 251 grams of fat, 105 of which were the deadly saturated variety, which everyone knows will cause your heart to rot and fall out. Combined with the low fiber intake, I should be a walking pat of butter with a heart the size of Rhode Island. Recall that the recommended daily intake of fat and saturated fat is 100 grams and 20 grams, respectively. By the experts.

But let's see.

During the past year, my bloodwork has steadily improved. I threw in numbers from 2006 for comparison. As you can see, my numbers weren't all that bad for someone who weighed 400 pounds compared to many others (I don't have a gall bladder). But the steady improvement is undeniable, and I am anything but svelte at my current 296 pounds and BMI of 40. I am NOT on any cholesterol lowering drug or specific regimen.

October, 2006 (baseline 400 pounds)
Triglycerides: 211
Cholesterol: 206
HDL: 45
LDL: 142

February, 2007 (2 months low carb)
Triglycerides: 117
Cholesterol: 142
HDL: 48
LDL: 71

August 2007 (8 months low carb)
Triglycerides: 95
Cholesterol: 161
HDL: 55
LDL: 87

January, 2008 (12 months low carb, 296 pounds)
Triglycerides: 68
Cholesterol: 139
HDL: 60
LDL: 65
VLDL: 14

So with all that fat intake, and saturated fat off the charts according to the experts, my triglycerides dropped 67% (211 to 68), total cholesterol dropped 33% (206 to 139), HDL cholesterol increased 33% (45 to 60), and LDL cholesterol dropped 54% (142 to 65). My HDL/LDL ratio is .9 (anything above .3 is considered great, but not everyone agrees that this is a good indicator of risk for heart disease).

These numbers and the clinical experiences of thousands of others who eat a low-carbohydrate diet often demonstrate the primary effects are decreased cholesterol and triglycerides and an improved lipid profile overall. Other scientific evidence indicates improved blood sugar profiles for diabetics, reduced appetite and hunger, improved energy levels and, of course, weight loss. An industrious search for these supporting data can be found all over the internet. One could start here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here.

I have lost 109 pounds following a fairly strict low carb (<50 grams per day) diet for the past year. But along the way a miracle happened. I stopped dieting and began living. I no longer count and measure food. I don't struggle to turn down high carb foods (today I joyfully picked up a pizza for my wife and daughter and sat with them and laughed while they dug in and I had my low carb meal). It's not an option for me to go back to the rapid heart rate, the sweating, the stuffed feeling, the bingeing...all due to a sugar and carb allergy that I never knew I had. When I was separated from carbohydrates and sugar a year ago my life changed dramatically and permanently. I invite anyone who suffers from obesity, chronic dieting, diabetes, food addiction, or overeating to try this low carb way of life (after consulting your doctor of course, and arguing if he/she disagrees). If you do happen to be food addicted, a 12-step program or therapy may also be indicated. Low carb eating makes a wonderful food plan because it is versatile, portable, and eliminates calorie counting. Salud!

I Am Obese and It's All Our Fault

Last week witnessed a mini-flurry of internet stories which proclaimed that obesity is now "a lifestyle choice," or words to that effect. Apparently this is one of the premises (or at least the popular media think so) of the book The Fattening of America, by economist Eric Finkelstein. I haven't read it, don't know if I will, so I can't say anything about the book. But the threadbare spectre of blaming the ill for their disease once again confronted me as I scrolled through page after page of nutritionists and presumably thin folks piling on to fat people for being fat. The mothership of blame media, the NY Times, featured a glaring example.

If you are obese (and one third of you are according to the government), certainly you know the statistics. Certainly you have an idea of your cholesterol, your blood pressure, and the number of calories you consume each day. You certainly have a ballpark figure in mind when it comes to your weight. But what you also have, most certainly, is a significant amount of pain someplace inside that relates to your weight.

As America gets fatter, and the industrialized world along with us, we become more desparate, more fanatical about losing weight. The diet industry and big pharmaceuticals make billions of dollars from our pain. Our friends and family try to encourage us, and we do all that is expected, and more. We lose weight. We gain weight. We stay about the same. We eat, we starve, we fight, we negotiate. In the end, we give up. We give in to our culture, the money, the food, the stress, the pace, the overwhelming urge to eat what we want and just get on with life, for God's sakes. And we hurt.

And this hurt is what drives many of us to be obese. When we cannot find something to fill the place inside of us that longs to be filled, we eat. And when we eat, we eat what is available quickly and inexpensively. And then we hurt again. This cycle of pain-eat-pain drives many of us past despair to resignation. Yes, I am fat. Yes I will be fat, so what's the point in worrying about it. Here we see the "lifestyle choice" of obesity. It is more properly characterized as resignation to being fat and being in pain about it, because it is less painful to try to get on with life than to try again -- and fail -- to lose weight and become normal. Because we are abnormal. Abnormally fat. And this hurts a lot.

Last week I discovered that my body mass index (BMI) is now 40.1. According to the government, ADA, AHA, and all the other fat watchdogs, I am severely obese. Anything over a 40 BMI gets you that label. Anything over a 30 BMI is obese, for that matter. I have lost 109 pounds during the last 12 months (starting BMI 54.9, morbidly obese). I will need to lose another 76 pounds to be reclassified as overweight (BMI 29.9 or less). Then another 42 pounds to be "normal weight" (BMI <24.9). Such is the gauntlet of angst we obese must trudge to become normal.

These dietary gymnastics are intuitive to me. Put a chronic dieter, a bariatric physician, and a dietician in the same room and see who comes out on top of the food debate. Driven by the pain of obesity, lashed into a state of aggressive passive desperation, the obese chronic dieter can recite the nutritional content of any menu and discuss the latest New England Journal of Medicine article on the role of fat mobilizing molecules in obese rats. And along with all that knowledge, we have lived being fat. We know the deal. Solutions are fleeting as we become fatter and more resigned to being that way.

Under this lash of desperation I have found an approach that matches low-carbohydrate eating with an inner-directed search for love. Without struggling against my food, and without experiencing hunger, I have slowly, steadily lost weight and gained some understanding about the truth of my condition. The pain has diminished. I'm convinced that a spiritual solution is the only way I can stop using food as a substitute for love, or as a stop gap for my pain. It took me 20 years to understand and finally accept this way of living. But once I did, the results were immediate, effective, and long-lasting. For too long I saw the price of total surrender as being too high. And it is not without cost, especially at the outset when old ideas must surrender to new ones. When resignation turns to hope, and desperation turns to love, it's worth the cost at any price.